Darwin Award

    This one needs an intro, so you won't be lost at the beginning. This
   man was in an accident (work accident, not car accident), so he filled
   out an insurance claim. The insurance company contacted him and asked
   for more information. This was his response: "I am writing in response
   to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the
   accident reporting form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my
   accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and
   I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio
   operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the
   top section of my new 80 foot tower. When I had completed my work, I
   discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower,
   brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than
   carry the now un-needed tools and material down by hand, I decided to
   lower the items down in a small barrel by using a pulley, which was
   fortunately attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower.
   "Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and
   loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the
   ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow
   descent of the 300 pounds of tools. You will note in block number 11
   of the accident reporting form that I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my
   surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my
   presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I
   proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In
   the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This
   explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only
   slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers
   of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. "Fortunately,
   by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold
   onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time,
   however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of
   the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed
   approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block
   number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side
   of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel
   coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the
   lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel
   slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of
   tools and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry
   to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable
   to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost
   my presence of mind. I let go of the rope...

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