Quasimoto

                                      
    Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Quasimodo were having a terrible fight.

 "I am the most beautiful person in the world," proclaimed Sleeping
 Beauty.
 "No, you're not," answered Quasimodo and Tom Thumb.
 "I am the smallest person in the world," shouted Tom Thumb.
 "No, you're not," said Sleeping Beauty and Quasimodo."
 "I am the ugliest person in the world," announced Quasimodo.
 "No, you aren't," replied Tom Thumb and Sleeping Beauty.  Well, they
 decided that if the three were to get along, they needed a mediator,
 and
 decided that Merlin, clearly the smartest person in the world, would
 be
 ideal.  Merlin agreed and summoned them all to his palace, where he
 announced he would meet with them one at a time.  Sleeping Beauty went
 in
 first and not a minute later came out beaming.
 "I am the most beautiful person in the world.  Merlin says so."
 In went Tom Thumb and out he came as quickly as had Sleeping Beauty.
 "I am the smallest person in the world.  Merlin agrees."
 In goes Quasimodo and he stays a half hour, an hour, an hour and a
 half.
 Finally, he emerges distraught, muttering, "Who the hell is Janet
 Reno?"